She's a witch!

I am a witch, and yes, I do chop up babies and I eat them. My favorites are baby carrots, baby corn, baby spinach and baby bella mushrooms. Those mushrooms are especially tender. 

This Close

I have reached the point where I am thiiiiiiiiis close to completely giving up on the entire human race. How any species can be this stupid is completely beyond me. 

All I Ever Needed to Know

Everything I ever needed to know in life I learned from Steven Spielberg, Jim Henson and George Lucas.

How a conspiracy theorist thinks

How a conspiracy theorist thinks: It looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…OMG!! Obama is using robotic ducks to hunt us down and kill us in parks if we vote against gun control!!!  

Persecuted

I hear more and more about prominent Christians that insist that Christianity as a whole is being persecuted. They keep using that word. I do not think it means what they think it means. 

Fear and Freedom

As long as you live in fear, you will never be truly free. Turn off your television, turn off your talk radio and start thinking for yourself for a change. 

Fix the World

If you do not like someone because of the color of their skin, the shape of their eyes, the people they love, the language they speak, the gender they present or how much money they make then you are exactly what is wrong with the world. And the only way we are going to fix the world is to fix you. 

Violations

Prop 8 is a human rights violation.

DOMA is a human rights violation.

Any legislation to allow discrimination against LGBT people is a human rights violation. What is it about this that Conservative Republican’s don’t understand? 

Perverts

Keep your religion out of my pants! You bunch of fecking perverts.

Opinions

Opinions are like assholes...some pucker more than others. 

Culture of Entitlement

We actually do have a culture of entitlement in this country.  Those with the most wealth feel the most entitled.

Inside

Somewhere inside all of us is the person that we actually are, desperately wanting to be noticed. 

Our Children

Our children are the ones that are going to change the world. And they can only do that if we teach them compassion and empathy from the beginning.

Root of All Evil

1 Timothy 6:10 says that the love of money is the root of all evil. With the economic situation our country is currently in, I believe it. 

How Many?

How many evangelicals does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they didn’t have electricity in the Dark Ages.

Your Job

The world is filled with “no", "you can’t", "that’s impossible” and “over my dead body.” You’re job is to laugh at them, prove them wrong, do it anyway and make this world a better place for everyone.

The Institution of Marriage

Marriage is not a religious institution. Your religion may have rules regarding your marriage, but when you start forcing your religious beliefs onto my personal life we have a problem and you are on the wrong side of that problem.

Bailouts

I should declare myself a corporation, declare myself too big to fail and live the rest of my life on bail outs and subsidies.

Suicide Rate

When we, as a society, actually start accepting homosexuality and transgender as being right and beautiful, the suicide rate in this world will plummet.

The Simple Life

Life is actually very simple. Joy and happiness is always close at hand. But sometimes we need a little reminder and I can’t think of a better reminder than the smile on a child’s face, the laughter in a child’s voice and the dream in a child’s heart. 

Tolorance

I do not fight for tolerance. That word implies that I am doing something wrong and there is nothing wrong with who I am. Instead, I fight for the acceptance that we all deserve. 

I Love You

I say, "I love you," very often to a lot of people. But I do not use those words lightly. If I tell you that I love you, I truly mean it. You are a very important part of my life and I love you very much.

A Matter of Trust

Trust is a matter of perspective. For example, I trust every single Republican politician...to lie to me, cheat me and steal my money. 

Something Beautiful

If you want to see something beautiful, look in the mirror.

Sense of Morality

A sense of morality does not require religious belief. And it has become painfully obvious that religious belief does not require a sense of morality.

You Have a Problem With Me?

What? You have a problem with me? I'm sorry to hear that you have a problem. Maybe you should seek professional help and let me get on with my day.

G.O.P.

G.O.P. no longer seems to stand for Grand Old Party. Now it seems to stand for Greed Oriented Paranoia. 

Commonalities

Jim Jones, David Koresh, Fred Phelps, Pat Robertson, Pope Benedict and Mother Theresa all have two things in common. They were all led by the same god and the same book.

Thinking Children

A child taught WHAT to think may grow up to be a productive citizen. But a child taught HOW to think will grow up to change the world.

Voices in My Head

Sometimes I wish the voices in my head would just shut the hell up. But, damn it! They have all of the best ideas.

The Life of Music

The true life of music lies not within its notes, but rather the spaces between them.

Supply and Demand

These days, supply and demand means that corporations demand the price and we supply the cash. 

Teaching Creationism

If religions are going to require public schools to teach creationism in their classrooms, then I say we should require churches to teach evolution in their Sunday schools. 

Never Too Late to Think

It is never too late to start thinking for yourself. The problem is that the longer you spend letting others think for you, the harder it becomes to break free.

Cover Up

When was the last time you saw child sexual abuse covered up by an Atheist organization? 

Family

We all need family. Relatives, on the other hand, we can often do without. 

A Good Book

A good book should be like a good symphony. It should carry melodies and sub-melodies to incite emotion and inspire the soul.

Reality

Every decision you make an every action you take creates and entire new universe. Reality is merely the sum of those universes.

Go and Sell....

What part of "go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor" means cutting funds 

for welfare programs?

Make the World Better #1

Simple things to make the world better: #1 Love yourself.

Freedom of Religion

It's freedom of religion, folks, not freedom of Christianity. You have had over 200 years to figure 

this out. It's time to get over it and move on. 

Paying Attention

If you think the Democrats are the problem, or even that the Republicans are the problem in this 

country, you haven't been paying attention.

I Don't Believe in Science

I don't believe in science. Science is not something you can or cannot believe in. It is not 

something you can have faith in. Blind faith requires a religious devotion to ignorance.

Listen

If you want a woman to notice you, listen. Don't just hear...listen!

Politics and IQ

Maybe you shouldn't talk politics if your IQ is smaller than your cock length.

Moral Standards

I've read the Bible three times from cover to cover. If the God of that book really does exist, I 

have no desire to be part of his chosen people. I can't lower my moral standards to that level.

Shame on you

Shame on you GOP. People's lives are far more important than your corporate handlers profit margins.

Brains

You have a brain for a reason. USE IT!

New Beginnings

Every day is a new beginning. Take advantage of it and make your world a better place.

Scared Shitless

It's not criminals with guns that I'm afraid of. It's not mental patients with guns that I'm afraid 

of. What I'm afraid of is the average Joe that finally decides he has had enough and has access to

guns. That guy scares me shitless